Beauty from ashes

We don’t like being associated with deadness. We prefer things that can respond to our actions or words. We like situations that we can alter at will with minimal negative consequences. So what do we do when certain areas of our lives seem to be experiencing deadness? How do we distinguish between things that are beyond repair and those that have a breathing chance of recovery, no matter how small the breath?

God is able to turn a situation of severe famine into a flood of abundance in the twinkle of an eye. He is able to allow a small football team to humble another team full of world-beaters. He is able to use a small pebble in a shepherd boy’s hand sling to defeat the immense hero of their chief antagonists. God is able to part water bodies to allow His people passage through and He can similarly walk on water to get to His people. He is able to cause the rain to fall and also at a word command a storm to cease, in an instant.

Much will be said for and against instant expectations to answers for prayer, but we know for a fact that God can do things in an instant. No matter the time it takes to settle our issues, the blessed reminder is that no situation is beyond the ability of God to overturn, overtake and turn around. Don’t give up, no. Don’t give up, no. keep the dream alive, hold on to your aspirations in life. It may seem dead, but God has raised up dead situations in the past as well. 

Teenager Ideas on Responsibility

We had an awesome time at the Diguna Open Camp 2011 and my group had kids with ages 12 to 15 years. We discussed various topics and listed below are some of their thoughts on how to become a more responsible person.

1. Do whatever task you have to do as if you are doing it for God.
2. Do your tasks voluntarily and give your best.
3. Be focused on the task at hand and stick to it.
4. Seek guidance whenever you have a problem.
5. Be on time.
6. Be able to work with little or no supervision.
7. Manage the specified time you have well.
8. Show commitment and determination in whatever you are doing.
9. Be humble and obedient.
10. Work hard and refrain from self-praise. Wait for others to praise you.
11. Improve on the things that you know you can do.
12. Be tolerant with people you are working with.
13. Perform duties that others around you don’t consider important.
14. Enjoy your task.
15. Do your work whole-heartedly.
16. Be creative.
17. Have self-drive.
18. Cultivate interest in the task given.
19. Be reliable.
20. Don’t complain when given a task.
21. Don’t think about the payment for the work being done.
22. Do what you can.
23. Do it as an exercise that is beneficial to all.
24. Know that you will be judged by what you do.
25. Be serious in everything you do.

Losing my Innocence

There must be a song with this title if I am not mistaken. I am sure most if not all of us know what this statement means. We remember the days of innocence with nostalgia,days when we knew how to distinguish good from evil, the permitted from the forbidden.We can recall the occasions when our little misdemeanours were met with a slap on the wrist or a spank on the bottom if we were repeat offenders, or if our seniors simply happened to be in a foul mood.

I remember the days when some things were cause for embarassment, when some things were only spoken in hushed tones carefully punctuated by giggles and sniggers. I miss the days when the lines were clearly drawn and there weren’t as many gray areas as I see around me these days. I remember the guilt I felt when I broke some unwritten rules, how my mind raced and my heart was in turmoil as I looked forward to the downstairs toilet where I would go on my knees and profusely apologize to God for my mistakes. I miss the days when I stayed for a seemingly endless time under the cold shower hoping the water would somehow wash away the filth I sensed contaminating my body.

I cannot go back to the past, and what lies there remains a record in history. I can do little with the future, it is not so much in my hands, as it is in God’s. I can do everything possible with the present. I can make bold requests, I can face my mountains, not ordering them to move, but instead relying on the strength of God to help me soar over them. If my faith can move a mountain, it can also cause me to soar above it. After all, why move a landmark when you can rise above it, view it as something under you and enjoy the descent into your destiny on its other side?

I am a Christian

We are very limited creatures. We know just how small we are, and we know that we are not really in full control of our lives. We are painfully aware of the fact that we will all die at some future point, and we know we can not take anything with us beyond the grave. We sense deep inside that there could be more to this life than what we are currently experiencing and we wish we could know the exact nature of the life that awaits us beyond this one. We follow world systems that could give a glimpse into the unexpected and we hope we have made the right choice as far as what we believe is concerned.

On this side of eternity, we struggle with the challenges that every day brings. We may have many pleasant moments, but if we are honest, we know that the suffering is greater than the celebration. No wonder we invest so much hope in the world to come. A world where there shall be no more crying and dying. A world without pain and injustice. A world whose ruler is loving and truly has the best interests of His subjects at heart.

I choose to be a Christian. This choice is influenced first of all by my background. It has been the most appealing faith since my childhood and continues to be my choice as I continue in this journey. Other systems of faith have their own methods and beliefs but I feel truly settled in this one. I could not imagine not being a Christian. I am at the point where a life without Christ is not appealing at all. I don't know of anything else I would rather be than His and I cannot imagine bowing down to any other god. I am satisfied in Him and I can shamelessly say that I love Him.

The Bigger Picture

Life has many demands. There are so many things that require our attention at any given time. Most of the times, we respond to the most URGENT need that demands our attention, at the expense of the most IMPORTANT need. We need to be able to distinguish between matters that eventually are more important and those that may be urgent but not as important. How do we do this?

I believe that a person should have a helicopter view of situations so that they can give the first priority to the important and then tackle the urgent. This helps to avoid unmet deadlines and to improve effectiveness. The main challenge occurs when one's superiors require them to drop the important things for the sake of the urgent. So how do you deal with a case where your leader requires you to drop something you feel is more important to the organization so that you can deal with something they consider to be more urgent?

As long as a leader is not involved, do the important thing. As long as a leader is involved, do what they say. After all, if you don't do the urgent task they require, you will be out of a job and then you can't do the important thing. Just saying. 

Heartless Government

I know the Kenyan  government has to make hard decisions at times. I know citizens do take unlawful steps to secure their interests at times. I know there are those unscrupulous people who take advantage of the government’s laxity to further their own selfish interests. I know the land on which the slums at Mitumba were put up was not theirs to build on.

I also know the children who sat their class eight KCPE exams this year. I know the kids who have gone on to high school and polytechnics, having grown up in those slums. I also know the budding musicians who call themselves the Poor Billionaires. I know the mothers who sell their bodies for fifty shillings to put food on the table. I also know the feeling of helplessness and no esteem that comes from them growing up in a slum.

For all that may seem convenient and lawful, there must surely be a concern for the babies who are huddled next to their freezing mothers as the Nairobi rain and cold hit and bite. Those who would at a moment’s notice demolish someone’s home would do well to consider alternatives for them. After all, the apparently 26^th richest man in Africa has land the size of Singapore. These guys only need 4 acres. Food for thought. 

Youth Camps

The first of our two weeks of youth camps starts on Friday. We are almost ready but there are things that can only be done on the day the camp starts and some as the camp goes on. The team is ready for work but there is definitely some uneasiness going around the camp and this can be worrying.

I for one am not really as motivated as I should be for the camps. I am low on emotional and physical energy and I pray that God will strengthen me. There are some challenges that I have to overcome as an individual and some that we have to overcome as a team.

Perhaps seeing the campers will make us more excited and perhaps being with such an energetic crew will inspire some energy into me. I look forward to their coming, if for nothing else then for fellowship. Pray with us, we need all the prayer we can get. 

Soul Repair

Isaiah 61:1-7

There are many things that have happened to us in the past. We have memories we would sooner forget and some of those occurrences still haunt us to this day. Some of us are unable to confidently move on in life because of something that happened some time ago, either in the near or distant past.

A huge ship takes quite a long time to turn, as does an eighteen-wheel trailer. It is much bigger and is capable of carrying massive loads. A small boat turns much faster and easier but can only carry light loads. The human spirit can carry immense weights, some of it much larger than the actual body size of the owner. That’s why a twelve year old girl can carry a lot of anger and bitterness over the father who gave her out to be married by someone fifty years older than her.

What is that thing that still binds you in the past? How can you begin to allow God to release you from it? He who the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36). Have you been to the cross lately? Have you given up your hurts to the Master? He is well and truly able to release you from the captivity of your past. 

Dead End

There are times when the road we so faithfully travelled seems to end quite abruptly, and there are other times when we can see the end coming. Sometimes we live with a fearful expectation of the worst, and yet dare to hope that something good can come out of the chaos that comprises our lives during those moments. 

The human spirit is meant to carry heavy loads, and it does its job with tremendous efficiency. Yet there are moments when even the elasticity of the spirit is stretched beyond its capacity. One should never reach such moments, for they are incredibly brutal and notoriously incurable.

Know where you are headed and make sure you don’t reach the point of no-return in any area of your life. Read the signs and know when to pack your things and go. Nothing is meant to last forever, except for the mercies of the Lord, for they endure forever. 

Useful for God

2 Kings 7:3-10

Sometimes in our lives, we feel that we are not worthy to be used by God. This is a very common thing to many of us human beings. The truth is that God is not looking for super saints, spiritual heavyweight champions or super models or people who we would think are perfect for His work. Instead, He is looking for you because He can still glorify Himself in your situation. The Bible confirms this in so many ways, and taking a look at our scripture reference above highlights that point. 

The four leprous men went to an abandoned enemy camp and the news they brought back to the city brought the siege-imposed famine to an abrupt end. They were called ‘unclean’ and were ostracized by the society because of their medical conditions but were greatly used of God through a very simple mechanism…sharing the word about the abandoned enemy camp. God had already accomplished the victory, all they had to do was report it. Their selfless action, although they were initially selfish, saved many lives.

Regardless of the condition of your health, wealth or physical ability, God is able to use you for His glory. If He can use anything, let Him use you.

Tabitha Kiragu

Barefooted Hope

This week, we hosted several boys from our neighbourhood on our sports field at Diguna Mbagathi and conducted football training sessions. There were kids from roughly the same neighbourhood but from variously endowed families. Some were from really poor families and couldn’t afford football shoes or other football kit, whereas some had the recommended football kit.

We had the opportunity to be with them for four days although some of us couldn’t make it on some of the days. Some of the kids who came on the first day disappeared and never returned while some who had never come before arrived on the last day. We taught them various aspects of football (soccer) such as ball control, passing, shooting and also had some conditioning exercises.

The highlight of the whole thing for me was having kids from other religions also attending the sessions and they got to listen to the Gospel. They were taught that God loves them and has a plan for each and every one of them, and then they were taught football. Although they came barefooted, they did not leave with bare hearts, for they were fed the very Word of God and we pray that this barefooted hope will someday mature into a well-dressed reality. 

The Messed-Up Christian

Looking at the life of the Apostle Peter, one cannot help but see the incredible space God allows for mistakes in the life of the Christian. This guy literally spent most of his time with Jesus during the Master’s years of ministry. He saw the miracles and heard the teachings, even commenting on the transfiguration.

He is also the same guy who cut off someone’s ear in apparent defence of the Master and tried to talk Jesus out of going to the cross. He denied the Master no less than three times and had forgotten that Jesus was supposed to rise again three days after His death. Peter was just as blessed as He was messed up.

Are you feeling far from God? Have your actions in the near or far past led you to feel unforgivable? In Peter, we have a perfect companion, one who was so near to the Master yet so prone to error. Jesus already prayed for Him and for us, so we don’t have to feel unforgiven. He knew that we would mess up, just as He knew that Peter would mess up and thus made such incredibly gracious intercession for us. So, whenever the devil reminds you of the past, remind yourself of the finished work of Jesus on the cross. It is truly finished. 

Leading while bleeding

There are many reasons for failure in life, but one of the most common reasons is trying too hard to please everyone. Human beings are varied in their passions and moods and there is no one person who can sufficiently make everyone around them happy and have no enemies. The way the community thinks about you depends a lot on how you interact with them, or how you don’t interact with them. Most people don’t really care if you don’t bother with them, because it means that they don’t have to bother with you either. However, most of them would really enjoy your company if they got to know you better, right? That is a matter that is up for discussion.

Sometimes, people we know, respect and love make mistakes. It is even sadder when the mistakes are made by people who we know, respect and love and we have allowed them to lead us. I happen to be such a person. I am loved by some, respected by others and I lead quite a number of people. I also have mistakes that I regret, things I wish could be undone. However, water under the bridge cannot be restored to flow through once it is gone.

The incredulous thing is that I am still expected to lead, to be a beacon of light in a dark and lost generation. I am expected to lead the flock under me to a morally upright path whereas I have my own skeletons in the closet. I am leading while bleeding. At the moment, it is not easy to find enough energy to do the pastoral work that occupies my position, and I often feel weak, ineffectual and helpless. I am encouraged at the moment that in my weakness God’s strength is made perfect. That works for now, as I am gently and patiently restored to the position of influence from which I should operate. If you find the time, pray for me. God bless. 

Fallen Heroes

His book lies on the bed next to me. It has a very inapt title CALLED TO CONQUER. Author: Eddie Long. If the name doesn’t ring a bell, then just know that he is the American pastor facing more than his fair share of trouble following allegations of sexual abuse levelled against him by some young men from his congregation. He could write a year-long devotional on being called to conquer yet the allegations against him give the impression that he couldn’t conquer himself.

She is beautiful and has an awesome voice and very inspiring music. She has been a Christian musician for a long time although she took a long long long break from music to slow down the pace of her life. She has touched many Christians with her songs, I included, and she is also….homosexual. She is openly in a same-sex relationship and is not afraid to tell anyone who will listen, that God still loves gay people. Her name is Jennifer Knapp.

There are many more examples in our day, people who we looked up to and who let us down so hard we are too injured to trust them again. Whenever we heard them speak or sing, or do whatever made them so awesome to us, we couldn’t help but be inspired and moved. Now we have to deal with the issue of their fallen nature. What should we do with fallen heroes? The Bible is piled sky-high with such characters, Moses the murderer, David the adulterous and murderous king, Solomon who had more wives than most people have coins, Samson who couldn’t keep a secret from a loose woman, Reuben the incestuous, Peter the denier, John Mark the deserter, Saul the persecutor…….

The main difference between those people and the ones we deal with these days, is that they had the presence of mind to repent of their wrongdoing and were restored to fellowship with God. Our current church is full of fallen heroes who would plead their case to deaf ears, when tearful repentance at the foot of the cross would do. It is still not too late for you to be restored to God. Don’t let your pride separate you from Him eternally. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. 

Blessed to Bless

It is dark and cold outside and the rain has been quite consistent since it started this afternoon. I am waiting for our praise and worship team meeting which starts at 7:30pm tonight. We are preparing for the Diguna Wednesday evening fellowship. I am leading the singing tonight and our team is quite small, because I like small music teams. There is David Tumaini playing the keyboard then Timon and I are playing acoustic guitar. I am the only one singing on stage tonight and the main reason for this is that I didn’t think it easy to convince some of my friends on station to help with the singing, and also because no one else came for practice.

In the meantime, I am listening to some traditional Luo music and this guy can sing nicely although the instrumentation is a bit monotonous. He repeats himself a lot, only changing the last two words of the sentence and whistling in between the song lines. One can easily guess that there hasn’t been much time taken to write the lyrics of the song, yet this guy commands quite a following. Some guys take more time and create really good music. Others simply do whatever people want to listen to and then become rich.

I wonder what I am, for music is a natural and fun thing for me to do. I don’t struggle too much to write songs or think of melodies but I am not as persistent as other people are at making a life out of music. I sometimes forget that I have a music album. I need to be reminded and asked about what I intend to do with it and I mostly don’t have an answer. One thing I am sure about is that it is what God has gifted me to use to bless those I interact with and so I hope those who know me are blessed when I sing and play the guitar. How can you be a blessing to those around you? 

Back from the wild

I know it has been a while since I last blogged, but it has also been a very eventful time. I was away with some friends in a dusty Kenyan town called Naroosora somewhere next to the Maasai Mara Game Reserve. I am not too sure that we weren’t in the park itself because we occasionally met wildebeest and zebra on our way to the schools we had to visit. The rain in that part of Kenya is a blessing for the farmers but a curse for the motorists since the road gets horribly muddy when it rains. The strangest part of this detail is that this road is supposed to connect Kenya to Tanzania and yet it is in abject disrepair.

Anyway, the school ministry visits went remarkably well even though we were only five and the team normally has at least nine people. That meant that we had to play double roles and each person had to give more to the team than they normally would. It sounds like such a difficult prospect but it was more fun than work in my opinion. That’s what happens when your work is also your hobby. At the end of the week, we had hosted seven meetings. One meeting had students from TWENTY ONE primary schools, because they had gathered to do a joint exam.

The journey back to Nairobi was full of event, mostly involving muddy roads and strangely gracious Kenyan policemen. Kenyan traffic policemen are notorious for corruption but they let us so easily off the hook even when there was actually a case to answer….GOD was definitely answering my earlier night’s prayers. Soon after we returned, we had a mission to a church fundraising after which we spirited away to a nearby girl’s high school for a Christian Union leadership event where we had great fun and ministry.

Now a new week beckons and there is lots of planning for our forthcoming December camps to do. We are likely to have more than 200 teenagers on our compound during those eventful two weeks and we need all the preparation and heavenly guidance we can get so please pray for us. 

Max Lonsdale

I read something interesting on the internet this morning. An 18 year-old boy went up to the front door of one of the most famous people on the planet and asked him for a job. His meeting with the famous man was only successful on his fourth attempt. He is an aspiring footballer and the man he was meeting was none other than the manager of the (in)famous Manchester United Football Club, Sir Alex Ferguson. He describes how his well-rehearsed speech vanished into thin air when he came face to face with his potential employer. Eventually, he got an opportunity to train with the illustrious club for a month before unavoidable circumstances denied him a chance to join the team. Sir Alex did, however, arrange for the boy to be taken in by Doncaster football club where he will train once his ankle injury has healed.

Interesting how persistence and courage pays. it is even more interesting to note how persistence and courage should be backed up by competence. You see, no matter how impressed Sir Alex was with the boy’s guts and determination, he probably wouldn’t have given him another opportunity if he wasn’t good enough. What was initially a two-week trial turned into a month-long adventure, culminating in his playing alongside some of the teams other bright young prospects.

Before you go out with your elephant-sized courage and dogged determination, polish those skills. Whatever you are good at can always be improved by practice. there would be little sense in being given a big stage that you cannot perform in. prepare yourself well, for we attract what we prepare for….at least that’s what Erick Gatumu told me. 

Torture

I don’t understand how a normal human being would go out to a football field and run three laps then endure 45 minutes of agony in the name of practice. Honestly, who in their right mind goes out looking for pain? To add insult to injury, the person going for this kind of torture calls it a hobby. What kind of hobby promises more pain than it does pleasure, and what kind of sick people go out to participate in such a ‘hobby’?

Well, I am one of the people who participate in this seemingly senseless madness. I know there will be pain involved but somehow the joy of playing dulls the pain, at least when I am still on the football field and my muscles are warmed up. After a nice shower and a light supper, I drink several glasses of water and wonder if it was all worth it. The pain comes, especially on the feet and knees and the thighs begin to resist movement. Leaving the bed becomes a matter for discussion with the brain and though the brain has lots of convincing ability, the tired muscles normally win and another evening is spent in bed reading or watching a movie.

There are some who do this professionally, and they would rather do this than anything else in the world. Whereas some do it to put food on the table, others do it for the passion in them to find release. We all have different motives but we share the same sport. Life also has its players and each of us has our own motives for doing the things we do. What is your motive for doing what you do? 

Trapped

I have the feeling that God has me where He wants me and will not let me depart for a while. I am caught in a situation that I cannot manoeuvre myself out of and I am not sure I want to escape. You see, I am trapped inside……youth ministry. There is nothing else I can see myself doing in the foreseeable future so I might just as well get used to it and settle down for what could be a long ride

Today is Monday, and Mondays are normally my days off, but there is some work that needs doing and I must do it because deadlines must be met and those deadlines will not move just because I have a day off. We also have our monthly Bible Study group sleepover this weekend and I must make sure everything is ready by then. Thursday is a public holiday and that means that Friday will be occupied by people in the office who would rather be somewhere else. This also means that Wednesday will be like a Friday so today and tomorrow are the only two really productive days this week and I must make them count.

I am currently reading through the Gospel according to Matthew and it is interesting to see Jesus developing from a child who needed protection from King Herod to a master forcefully resisting the devil’s temptations with the Word of God. There is probably something that I should be learning at this stage in life, and I will probably share it with you when I have found out what it is. In the meantime, thank you for all those who pray for me and support me in various ways. You are the fuel that keeps my engine running. God bless you. 

Manna-less people

There was an interesting man preaching at church today. I think he did such a great job of making me think as he preached, that I have forgotten his name already. He said heavy things and threw about challenge after challenge as he unrelentingly spoke the Word of God. He quoted scripture and told rib-cracking stories that kept us all glued to the invisible screen. One particular Bible story that he referred to was that of the golden calf idol made by Aaron for the sinful children of Israel.

Of course God went on to punish many people because of this and Aaron’s leadership skills, or lack thereof, was put on display for all to see. A thought struck me at this point. If these guys were so evil, why didn’t God just withhold manna from heaven and let them die a natural death? God could also have added something lethal to the stuff and made it poisonous and in this way eradicate the problem. Why didn’t God stop feeding them and renewing their shoes and clothes for all those years?

We are told so many times that lack or poverty is a curse and we equate need with sin. These guys were in gross sin and yet God did not withhold the supply of food or cancel the dressing contract. We all have seasons of plenty and seasons of want, but the level of supply varies from one person or family to another. It is important to recognize the season you are in and to learn how to grow deeper in God through whatever experiences characterize the season that you are in. 

One Month Later.....

It has been an interesting one-month journey to various parts of the country with friends from various parts of Germany. It is normally called the Mission Active team and this year’s team travelled to Ngechek, Tinderet, Mbukuni, and Mombasa and finally back home to the Diguna Station in Mbagathi.

We had the opportunity to meet many school-going kids and teenagers as well as their teachers and other members of staff. We were always treated well and no school turned us away although some were much better behaved than others.

Our time in the Diguna stations was filled with practical work punctuated by some practice sessions for the ministry presentation items such as songs and skits. Most of those involved were not used to the physical nature of the work they were expected to assist with and got their fair share of blisters and sun-burned backs.

Mbukuni was our school ministry area and it was very well planned by the pastor in charge of AIC Mbukuni, Shedrack Ndonye. We visited 11 schools, six of which were primary and five secondary schools. We met with the students, teachers and non-teaching staff and got to share the Gospel with them all. The teachers were mostly interested in getting to Germany and were not so enthusiastic with the Gospel. Eventually, the school ministry was over and Mombasa beckoned. After a 12 hour journey, albeit with numerous stops, we reached our destination and embarked on our five night stay and the beach.

When the fun time was over, we drove, though with our normal stops, for close to 14 hours and finally reached Mbagathi exhausted and hungry. Most went to bed almost immediately after eating and the next morning was greeted with a late breakfast. We then went to the Mitumba slums, where the harsh reality of life in the slum was revealed to some very shocked team members. We then proceeded to the Village Market for lunch and some souvenir shopping at the Maasai Market before returning home to a sumptuous supper prepared by the wives of some of our team members.

The German contingent flies back home tonight and we wish them well, although they will be greatly missed. To pick a quote from one annoyed lady at the beach, ‘it is only mountains that never meet, people meet.’

Dadi na Mami

Dadi achana na mami

Vita ni vya nini

Hakuna amani

Mami pendana na dadi

Amekosea sawa

Hakuna msamaha

Sikujui sikutambui

Wewe ni nani, Jitambulishe

Mpenzi wa mami, baba yangu

Hatupigi, si desturi yake

Maneno hayo, uyasemayo

Hayafai na mchungaji

Tupe muda tujipumzishe

Mafichoni chini ya kitanda

Twatafuta upendo usiopo

Pahali pa busu, nusura kifo

Majirani hamtusikii

Kumejaa dhiki, baba mnafiki

Tumbo njaa, ngumi shibe

Askari okoa, njooni mumshike

Haya tosha, hatutaki tena

Kila mmoja paa, tujikimbize

Sitaki kusema kwaheri

Sitaki kukubali imeisha kati yetu

Sitaki kusema, sitaki kukuona

Nataka kusema, see you kesho

Sitaki ku-let go

Siko tayari kuku-lose natamani kuwa karibu nawe, nawe….

Identity

Every artist has a name that they are known by. Some prefer to come up with stage names other than their own and are known mostly by these names. I am sure some would prefer if their real names were never known but it is hard to keep secrets these days, thanks to Wikileaks and Wikipedia. It is even harder when you have a past that you would rather keep hidden. Information has a strange way of popping up from the most unexpected sources and at the most unpleasant time.

I was joking with some friends on Saturday about my stage name. I use my normal name as a musician and I was joking about using a different name. I like being the opening act whenever we have an event. I like it because I have the opportunity to set the stage for those to come after me, and also because I don’t really like being the main event in a meeting. Another reason is that I believe the groups present at events are at their most attentive at the beginning, eager with anticipation and ready to receive whatever is on show. As the event wears on, they either become more excited and thereby less likely to listen to what you are actually going to say, or they become bored and can’t wait for the thing to be over.

I just watched a guy with a guitar; microphone and microphone stand blow a full hall away. I liked that, but was quick to remember that this guy doesn’t have a personal relationship with God so his music is basically to be consumed and perhaps forgotten, when the next best thing comes around. I am reminded that the music I produce should be of a longer lasting significance, so I keep praying, so that I don’t start straying.

PS: I am still at the song composition stage, so no rush!

The Second Album - Initial stages

I am listening to some pleasant music, notably by Brandon Heath and Britt Nicole. If you don’t know them, you may want to give their music a try. What I like most about these guys is their depth of content. These guys seem to spend a lot of time on writing their songs and getting the instrumentation right. I wish so desperately to be able to focus as much on lyrics as they do without becoming a copycat. It would be great to write such insightful and long lasting music, music that deeply touches the soul and challenges the mind.

I hope that the first album I did was good enough to be on the same level with these guys in terms of song writing. I know I could do better with the instrumentation and vocals and this is the main area of focus as I think of my sophomore album. I already have a collection of songs; songs I like and am relatively sure will be liked by many. The tricky part is getting those songs to the quality I like listening to, because I am a harsh critic and mostly the harshest critic of my own music. I don’t like making excuses for poor quality so I must ensure that my own project is of a high standard. Music is my career of choice, and the world is my stage.

I am not content with my current situation but I am convinced it is a step in a long journey to my desired goal. I know that I will one day share the stage with the likes of Chris Tomlin, Israel Houghton and Matt Redman, but I must appreciate the stage of Bible reading and prayer that I find myself in. I know my songs must improve in quality of writing and instrumentation but I know that the greatest asset any song can have is to be Spirit- filled. Holy Spirit- filled. So I trust God to increase my understanding, to sharpen my writing and to inspire my composition so that I can no longer take credit for the music because He will have been its inspiration. That said; look out for Dadi na Mami, the second album from me. Please also pray that every stage of its recording shall be Spirit-led. God bless you.

The Pleasure of Discomfort

I find myself in an unpleasant situation at the moment. I am unwell. The source of my discomfort is best kept secret because it is otherwise embarrassing. You might have guessed by now, and if you haven’t then stop racking your brain over such mundane matters.

Being unwell has never been pleasant, but it also has its advantages too. For one, people treat you better, unless they are nurses with long-term experience in more horrific illnesses that make your ailment seem like a walk in the park.

I don’t envision being ill much longer, but since it has its benefits then I intend to enjoy the benefits until I have to fully re-join the world of the healthy. I can talk this way because my illness mostly has to do with discomfort and inconvenience and less to do with pain. I wouldn’t be talking this way if the headache I have at the moment was head splitting.

So now I retire to more movies and computer games to keep me company as I occasionally glance at the latest news from the internet. I won’t comment on football, too much has been said already. The one thing we must learn to do is to lose graciously and to win with humility.

Train Wreck

Our actions directly and indirectly have an effect on others. I knew this before but I hadn’t grasped the full measure of what our actions can lead to. Sometimes we make decisions based on what’s best for us, at the expense of others who may not have been involved in the decision making process. We are looking out for ourselves, and hurting those for whom no one looks out.

The lighter a car is, the lesser the impact it has when it hits something. When weight is increased on the car, momentum at speed is also increased and the impact of a collision is greater. When a heavy commercial vehicle is involved, or a train, the impact can be of immense proportion and the person steering the vehicle has to be in full control.

Our lives are like vehicles. We are always picking and dropping things. We are constantly in need of repair and refuelling. Anyone who goes through life without regular service runs the risk of not only injuring him or herself, but of also injuring others. The less emotional baggage we carry, the lighter our walk in life becomes. There are so many things we need to let go of, so ask yourself, ‘what am I carrying?’

Black

Black has always been associated with bad things, evil things. When something has the word BLACK attached to it, the idea expressed is usually one of something unpleasant or illegal e.g. black market, black-mail, black-out and so on. Being of dark complexion has also been something to be laughed at and even made fun of. Being of light-coloured skin is the measure of beauty whereas dark skinned people are usually loved for what they are good at rather than for what they look like.

I have been black for as long as I can remember and this has presented me with the unpleasant situation of being made fun of for a great part of my life. Sure, I can laugh off some jokes made about me these days without feeling like a lesser human being. However, there are those times when I was growing up that some comments were thrown in my face and wounded me deeply. I wouldn’t have thought being dark would be something bad unless someone made a joke out of it and made me feel small.

My situation is limited to my colour and height, because I am short. There are those with other ‘physical setbacks’. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these people, but we make them feel uncomfortable around us because they aren’t sure we will carry out an entire conversation without some snide remark being carelessly tossed about. Some fat, pimple-faced, stammering kid will have a torrid time this holiday because of his ‘friends’ and the same kid will shudder when he thinks of school because he knows that more of the same awaits him when schools reopen.

Take some time to sieve through your words during your conversations this week. There is a lot of power in words and we would be well advised to handle that power well. If you knew that your command would put fear into demons and spur angels to action, what kind of command would you issue? We should handle this power carefully, using it for exhortation, encouragement and rebuke where necessary, but never for coarse jesting. Our speech should be seasoned with salt, and our words should be as the very words of God. Food for thought.

New Life

We all have moments of incredible joy in our lives, moments we wish would never end. We also have moments of abject despair, moments we wish would never reoccur. Sometimes, the good things are a result of something we did or were part of in a small or big way. Sometimes, the good moments are completely outside our areas of influence and can be simply summarized as favour or good luck. Sometimes, the bad moments are a result of our actions, or lack of action and regret is our portion for an extended period of time after the event has occurred.

I was listening to a sermon by Jon Courson on Ezekiel 8 and he made reference to Deuteronomy 7 from verse 7 onwards. The basic idea he was trying to communicate was that God just loves us. Love with reasons tends to make someone focus on the reason for the love we receive. If someone tells us why they love us, we will naturally want to do more of that action that makes that person love us, neglecting other areas of our lives. We will deliberately focus on that particular thing or action that makes us loved and this wears one out with time. If we are told that we are loved simply because we are loved, we are left with nothing to prove because this love does not depend on what we look like or what we do. It is entirely on the part of the person who loves us to continue showing us the love they have for us.

No matter what we have been through in life, or whatever we are going through at the moment, we should always remember that God is lovingly sorting out our circumstances for His glory and for our good. Our good may cause us to be led through unpleasant paths but we have to trust Him to seek out our best interests and a pleasant desired end. He who called us is faithful, so let us faithfully rest in Him. This is new life.

Waatu - The Conclusion

The shock of the horror that she was sure awaited her numbed her senses and she seemingly painlessly surrendered to the power that effortlessly dragged her deeper and deeper into the darkness. The last thing she remembered was the song her mother used to sing to her whenever she had a bad dream as a little girl, and the voice did what it always did, and soon she lost all consciousness. She woke up to nothing. There was no one, no sound, no light, nothing. It was the kind of darkness that the eyes could never get accustomed to, yet she felt no fear anymore. She was prepared for whatever fate awaited her.

Pachi was nowhere to be seen, there was no visibility anyway. Suddenly, the now familiar heavy footsteps could be heard approaching her. Pachi was a presence that could be felt without light; she was darkness within darkness, and such a thick darkness was she that the darkness around her seemed to be light. She began to make a loud and horrible noise, and took the stance of an animal about to pounce on its prey. Amba did what she never imagined she could do in such a situation. She prayed. A simple prayer learnt in Sunday school, one she would have been surprised to remember under more pleasant circumstances. ‘Jesus, I trust you for my life, it is yours, amen’. Pachi kept roaring, but the roar changed to a high pitched shriek as she started reaching for her head.

Amba closed her ears to shield her from the ear-splitting noise coming from the darkness. All of a sudden, there was a burst of light and Pachi’s awesome hideousness could be visible. Words could not describe the look of shock on Amba’s face as Pachi transformed under the blinding light into…..a mirror image of Amba herself. Pachi was Amba, or so it seemed. Amba saw in Pachi her own fears, hurts, bitterness, resentment and shame. It was then that she realized what had been staring her in the face all along, she was Pachi, and Pachi was her. Pachi was her own creation and that’s why she seemed so dark and undefeatable. The short prayer she made allowed her to see Pachi for who she really was, Amba without Jesus.

What darkness is holding you captive?

PS: Pachi is dholuo for your mind

Waatu - Pachi

Sobbing noises could be heard from the space the hand was pulling her to and they grew louder and louder as the hand tugged her effortlessly along. She offered little resistance, how could she fight such strength anyway? Even if she wanted to, her last ounce of energy had already been sapped by the effort used in breaking her fall. The hand didn’t let go until they reached what seemed to be the destination. A small light shone through although she couldn’t see the source, it was painful to look at such light in the contrast of darkness that was the canvas for the gory painting of the story she was now living.

The sobs were suddenly halted by a whacking sound, and a growling command to shut up. Amazingly, the voice that accompanied the hand was feminine. How a feminine entity could possess such strength was beyond her comprehension. ‘Pachi, that’s her name’, offered the voice that had previously been sobbing. Amba offered silence in response to the unsolicited information and continued to seek out a face from her prison-mate. ‘She will be back, and she will start work on you too, ’ continued the other woman. ‘She will give you the most horrific pain you have ever imagined, and then she will give you more pain than you can imagine possible’. After that, silence.

The sound of footsteps approaching from one end of the darkness could be heard. The echo of an eerie whistling soon accompanied the footsteps. Amba’s heart synchronized its rhythm with the pace of the footsteps. With every step, her heart beat faster and faster. Pachi finally got to Amba’s side and with one sweeping swing of her huge hand hit her straight on the pate, a searing pain rushed through her head and she fell onto her back and stared up as the silhouetted figure of the now familiar hand reached for her.....

Waatu - A Short Story (perhaps)

Ambaaaaa!!!!!! She could hear the screaming voice of her friend Mali shouting her name growing increasingly faint as she sped down the steep slope into the waiting darkness. She was in shock but could still feel the trees and bushes eating away at her bruised body as gravity continued its pull on her. She instinctively reached out for something, anything that would at least slow her descent into the unknown bottom, if the darkness had an end.

A dampened thud signalled the end of her descent and she blacked out instantaneously. The end had come, or so she hoped, she had never longed for death more than she did on this day. After what seemed like an eternity of blissful oblivion, she regained consciousness and was immediately aware of the searing pain in her left leg. The rest of her body was also wounded and bloody especially a hideous gash on her right cheek, but the pain in her leg far overshadowed any other sensation she felt at that moment.

She took some time to adjust to the thick darkness that enveloped her and slowly started to notice shapes…and that’s when she noticed a familiar shape….the shape of a human hand reaching out to her, to her head. The hand reached out and caught her by the hair, and started dragging her deeper and deeper into the darkness as she screamed wildly and hopelessly fought against the strength of a seemingly undefeatable foe. She recognized the hand very well, for it was the hand of the creature she herself had created, the hand of her greatest enemy….

Waiting for You

How I stumble, how I fall

How I crawl, wounded on the ground

Down on my knees, crying out for help

You so far away, this must be hell

   Though the battle seems lost

   I’m with You, I’ve counted the cost

I will never give up, never give in

I’m holding on to You, holding on to You

I trust in Your Word, that You will return

I am waiting for you, I am waiting

Oh my High Priest, you know my pain

You identify with my joy and shame

Tempted in every way, yet without sin

All my ways are open to You

   Though the battle seems lost

   I’m with You, I’ve counted the cost

I will never give up, never give in

I’m holding on to You, holding on to You

I trust in Your Word, that You will return

I am waiting for you, I am waiting

 Standing here waiting looking up to heaven

Faith in Your mercy, trust in Your grace

My hope, my life, my rescue………

I am waiting…..

Israel Houghtony

The room lit up as he entered the arena. Every soul present was in incredible anticipation of the move of God in the place. There was no doubt that God was there….all that remained, was the manifestation of His presence. Houghtony entered the room amidst a chorus of thunderous claps and quickly took his place at the front of the team on stage. He gestured to the instrumentalists and they skilfully reduced the volume of their instruments. The vocalists hummed gently in unison at the back of the stage and Houghtony approached his designated microphone.

He lifted up his eyes to heaven and seemed to pray without audible words coming from his mouth. His gaze was fixed completely upwards and his hands soon followed…he was in the building, yet he was not in the building. He strummed his guitar gently and started speaking from the Psalms….the Lord is my Shepherd…..

As he spoke the psalm, hysterical cries started emanating from the hall as the Spirit of God moved in the building. Shouts of joy were intermingled with the cries of desperation as various miracles happened in the room. Houghtony never spoke directly to anyone’s situation, he just kept worshipping on stage as the musicians and singers backed him up and the Lord did the rest.

That night, as had happened for the last one and a half months, revival pressed on…and Isaiah 61:1-3 was fulfilled……

Alter Egos - Episode Two: Tonistar

He is the poster boy for many young ladies, but his image can also be located on the hearts of many older women’s hearts. They scream out for him, and some silently wish they could have him, if only for a brief moment, a brief moment of bliss.

He is always willing to offer interviews and appear on talk shows. His smile is charming and disarming and he keeps his well-toned body hidden under very fashion-sensible clothing. All fathers want their sons to become like him and all mothers want their daughters to be married to him.

His voice is a melodious descent from heaven itself and he can sing even the birds to sleep. Whenever he plays the guitar, one feels as if he doesn’t even have to sing, until he sings. His lyrics carry the human emotions to every imaginable place and back, and then off to another wonderful and almost magical adventure.

He never gets any key wrong and has no pitch issues. He always keeps the beat and performs as if he can predict even the freestyle moments that the accompanying musicians cook up as the show goes on.

He…..will be followed soon by Israel Houghtony……to be continued

Alter Egos - Episode One: Oumario

He is the best footballer to ever grace the surface of this planet. Some wonder if he is really human, because his skills are out of this world! He never wastes a single pass, and is never caught in possession. He never complains although his team mates let him down so many times. Whenever his team loses a match, he is completely innocent of any wrongdoing; he is, after all, the greatest footballer in the world.

Oumario is hard to understand because he is so complex. He relaxed during some moments of the match and it is easy to assume that he is somehow out of the game. The defenders who have shared this thought all have the same sentiments after the match, and the sentiments go like this: ‘it was like a dream! He just took the ball and passed us as if he was a ghost! I have never seen such skill, such bravery, such sheer determination.’ Of course, Oumario himself would never be found saying such things about himself. He is the consummate professional and will always be found lavishing praise on his manager and team mates whenever he accepts a rare interview. His interviews are so few and far between because, in his own words, ‘it is the team view that matters and we have the manager who does the talking for us. We do our talking on the pitch, with our feet’.

How Oumario has escaped the notice of the big clubs all over the world is a sign of the cruel twist of fate that is his story in life. He had the chance to play in the big leagues, but corruption and mismanagement of local football put paid to his professional ambitions. So now he concentrates on his team, doing all he can for them, realizing that age cannot allow him to pursue the ambitions that many would describe as being too lofty for one so advanced in age. He sits alone at times, pondering on how he can help the next generation to enjoy what he never could…..the dream of playing in the big leagues…….

next…..Tonistar….

Alter Egos - The Series

Alter Egos is a series that tells the lives of the people that live inside of me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not possessed and I am not suffering from multiple personality disorder. I just feel like there are some other characters in me that I think exist and yet they may not be a reality, perhaps they are merely figments of my very active imagination.

Each blog will deal with its own character, and as you read, you may find yourself noticing that you either have similar characters dwelling within you, or you have different characters from mine. Either way, you are likely to discover some kind of personality that you have hidden very well from your normal pleasant self.

I don’t yet know all the characters so I may not be able to mention them all at once in this post, but the few I have in mind will have the honour, or dishonour of appearing in the alter ego list. They are as follows:

1.       Oumario – the greatest footballer who never lived

2.       Tonistar – the rock star who every girl had dreams about until marriage temporarily brought them to their senses

3.       Israel Houghtony – the greatest worship leader of all time…….to be continued…

Right off the bat, I can assure you that these characters are all fictional and no one should start detecting signs of madness on the part of the author (me). I am very sane (I hope) and I am in total control of all my senses (naughty laughter)…………..to be continued

Bragging Rights

So my favourite team won the Kenyan football derby. That doesn’t mean that we are going to win the Kenyan premier league, but beating the rival team was just as satisfying. I know I have been writing about football a lot lately, but it has been a focal part of my life growing up and the last few weeks have been full of the game for me. So now I get to brag to all my friends from the rival team, and it will be quite a number of weeks before they get the chance to redeem themselves, and woe unto them if we beat them again.

What is it about sports that makes even the sanest of men (and women) go crazy? It is not unusual these days for someone who lives a relatively simple lifestyle to spend vast amounts, in comparison to his income, to follow his favourite team?

As Christians, we have bragging rights too. Jesus Christ won the fight for us. By His resurrection, He confirmed His power over death, hell and the grave and we who believe in Him are assured of His return some day. True, we still have to live this life, in this world and to influence this world on His behalf, but not in His absence, for He ever lives to make intercession for us. He didn’t leave us alone, but sent us the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, who shows us how to live and is the integral part of our walk with Him on this world.

Sometimes, life beats us down but we hold on knowing that it will get better in the end. We continually realize that the life that awaits us far outweighs the pain we must endure for the moment. Sometimes we, like the Apostle Paul, feel that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, and we wish this. However, we realize that it is also important that we remain for a while on this side of heaven, if only to be agents of change and a source of hope to a world running scared and amok like a headless chicken. Stay the course, influence your environment, and reach the world for Jesus, one person at a time. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Blessed week.

Kill the Ref!!!!

That was probably the thought going through some teenage minds yesterday afternoon as one team lost 3-2 to another during our second Diguna Champions League semi-final. One team led twice but ended up losing with the aforementioned score line, to goals they concluded were all dubious. I was the referee and had two very able assistant referees, so I never doubted their decisions. The first goal was a penalty; the second was a goal in which the ball went through the net, literally. The ball tore into the net and went through the net. I saw it as a goal, as did my closest assistant ref, but the team that conceded the goal claimed that it went in. For the third goal, there was a fifty-fifty collision between the goal keeper and the opposing striker. The assistant referee was in a very good position to see the event and claimed that the striker got to the ball before touching the goalkeeper, although contact was made. In all cases, there was contention but in every case, we made firm decisions and stuck to them.

The team that lost was feeling bitterly aggrieved, but some of them came later to greet us and to chat with us. This was very encouraging, because the same team caused a fight last year when results didn’t go their way. Their captain could even afford a smile, and his good-natured approach to the whole thing prompted me to buy him a big cold soda. That helped cool him down even more. Undoubtedly, some of them will never want to see me or my fellow match officials, but these are things that we all have to cope with in life.

The league ends this coming Sunday and I cannot wait for it to be over. As much as I have enjoyed it, it has also been quite challenging especially when I have to rush back from church or a school Sunday service to be there on time. Nevertheless, I will have some fond memories of the league and it will be great meeting with the kids along the way as I do my rounds in the neighbourhood. The last thought as the game ended might have been for my demise, but I truly hope and pray that their thoughts about fairness and God will be gracious as they continue in their development.

Dying to Stop

How does one get better at something when it hurts so much to do that same thing at a normal level? What happens when the pain becomes more than the joy found in doing something? How much must one sacrifice in the name of excellence?

These are the questions I have been asking myself all week long. I haven’t failed to play football for a single day this week. Starting Monday, I have been faithfully on the football field, sometimes arriving before others have even changed into their playing gear. It has been tough encouraging myself to do the mandatory warm-up laps around the field. It has taken even more energy to get others to participate in a common goal.

We have played two friendly matches and gotten only one out of a possible six points. We scored three goals and conceded six goals. Our goalkeepers haven’t been the best, but so has our erratic behaviour in front of goal. My feet have lost power so passing and shooting are more agony than art. My decision making capability has been severely hindered by playing with people who don’t challenge my thinking as far as football is concerned. I cannot blame them for I can always choose where to play my football.

One thing that I have realized is that it can be very easy to adjust to the environment around us to the extent that we are unable to challenge ourselves to become better at whatever it is that we desire to do. I hate losing, and I especially hate losing a game I feel we could have won. I am embarrassed when it is a game that was completely out of our hands, situations where we are outplayed and outscored. This weekend, like all other weekends, will be full of activity for me, and for many of us involved in Christian ministry. I have to somehow find time to think through the past week and focus on the week ahead. The weekend ends so fast, and the next week already has a full plate. Perhaps, some of us will truly rest when we go home to the Father. This earthly rest is never complete due to the pending items our minds are busy juggling.

Help me Lord, to be still and know that You are God- Psalm 46:10

The Bible Speaks - Biblia Husema

‘We had the initial plan of visiting the same places where we had shared the Gospel every three years. These days, we can return even to places we have never been, for 24 hours every day’. 

‘The spoken word will never return empty’.

These are some of the heavy-hitting statements shared yesterday evening in our Diguna Wednesday fellowship by Martin Mischnick. He is the technical director of the radio ministry team in Diguna and he has been in Africa for a long time. He has seen it all, wars, uprisings, new arrivals, marriage, kids, departures, the passing on of his wife and of his long-serving co-worker in the ministry, Victor Jonathan Paul (fondly referred to as Uncle Vic).

It was amazing to hear of the scope of the work they do as far as the radio ministry is concerned. They can cross borders without immigration procedures and can enter into homesteads without knocking on doors or planning evangelistic outreaches. The only drawback is that there is no fully tangible way of measuring the effect their work has on people. Apparently, Biblia Husema Broadcasting has 26% of the market share in radio listenership in Kenya. And they don’t even spend so much time tooting their own horn. To quote one famous preacher, ‘do good, let God worry about the results’.

They have recently launched a website so that people as far away as YOU can access them. Simply log on to www.bibliahusema.org and begin to experience the impacting work of this ministry. Since you are reading this blog, it means you have some knowledge of navigating around websites. So, knock yourself out, have a wonderful time. Jeremiah 22:29

Pride and Restoration

Last week was super strange for me. I had the privilege of sharing at our fellowship here in Diguna on Wednesday evening. On the Monday before that, I was playing football with some friends, as usual, and was having a very nice time doing it. As we were playing, I got the ball from a team mate and made a super pass to another team mate who went on to score. Everyone was busy congratulating me on the pass, it was a really good one….and then an opponent took the ball and started running towards our goal. He is also good at football and especially at scoring from a distance. He shot towards our goal and I stretched out my foot to block the ball and inadvertently guided the ball into our own goal! I was more embarrassed than shocked, and my team mates were very gentle with me, no one scolded me at all.

This was not usual for me because I am used to scolding people when they make a mistake on the football field. I realized that I mostly scold those who are not very good at playing, or when I feel that I could have done better in the same situation. That’s when I realized that I had a problem that affected those who played on my team as much as it affected me. Pride. I realized that I cannot rate someone’s effectiveness in a matter unless I feel I could do it better myself. On the one hand, it may be argued that leaders have to gauge the performance of those under them, but on the other hand, the same leaders cannot afford to feel that they are much better than their juniors.

When it comes to restoration, we are warned against slipping into the dangerous pitfall of pride. We are cautioned to restore those who fall in gentleness knowing that we could also fall into the same situations in life. If someone is caught in a sin, we who are spiritual should restore them in gentleness and humility. We need to esteem others more highly than ourselves. We should have the restoration of the fallen brother or sister as our prime focus, and not our self-gratification at having helped someone through a tough patch in life. We should handle people just as graciously as we would like to be handled if we were the ones going through that situation.

Some of us are so harsh in our critique that no one feels safe telling us what they are going through. We are similar to hard rocks, and you will rarely find someone going to a rock to shed their tears. We need to be like soft cushions that can massage the head and absorb the tears that fall. We should be cities of refuge rather than critics of refugees. Are you a rock, or a cushion? Are you a city of refuge, or a critic of refugees? Just in case you were wondering, the scriptures referred to are: Romans 12:3; Galatians 6:1-4.