Silent Noise

Sometimes we really seek to hear the voice of God speaking to us. Other times we aren't so sure we want to hear what He would say about the situations in our lives. When we engage in things that we know God doesn't like, we hope that He will look the other way for the duration of our sins. When the deed is done, we seek God out again, hoping that He will accept us back with no conditions and that He will use us anyway to bless His people. Many of our pastors encourage us that God doesn't love us because of what we do, but that He loves us in spite of what we do. Our pastors are trying to encourage us to depend more on God's grace than our actions, and they are completely correct. We, however, are misusing grace and using our pastors' encouragement to assuage our feeelings of guilt. 

Sometimes God calls us to something incredibly intense. Something that will completely alter the way we live and act and the choices we make. Sometimes God seems to speak using every available thing and person around us and it becomes increasingly hard to ignore Him. Your Bible study time, the sermon in church, the concert you attend, the movie you watch, even the newspaper. At this point, it becomes incredibly hard to ignore the call any longer. It is especially difficult when none less than Mark Hall of Casting Crowns tells the story of his struggle with his call into ministry and it exactly echoes your own. You sit in the chair as the people around you dance and sing in excitement and all you can give back is your heart and eyes busy fighting off tears.

That was my experience yesterday as God's calling in my life climaxed at a concert. My eyes were closed, the music didn't matter any more. God was at work, silently speaking into my heart as He shut out the environment around me. At least He restricted my crying to something internal, although a few tears managed to escape. I could not resist Him any more, I had known for long what He wanted me to do and He wanted to seal the deal last night. Now the process begins, and He has to tell me where we go from here.