The Place With No Name

There is a place that has no name. It is characterized by silence and confusion. It is a place we will all get to visit some time or more than once. This place is both pleasant and unsettling. The voice of God is as a distant rumble sometimes, and other times it is a very clear word in the ear. This place offers nothing to make you want to stay. You look forward to departure, and you wonder how you ended up there in the first place even though you are very aware of the events that led you there.

There is a clear road detailing your past and this road has a way of showing you the place you left. There are constant reminders to your failures and an incessant laughter emanates from the shadows of your shame. You can see each and every embarrassing detail of your misdemeanours and cringe whenever a new one pops up. Your life is on display in your mind and your neighbour on the bus wonders why you are making strange faces as you daydream in the homebound traffic jam.

The road to your future is not as clear. There seems to be a foggy aura around it. You can only see as far as your hand, although some days are a bit clearer and you get to see the peak of a distant mountain. However brief the glimpse of the future, it reminds you of the destination and your resolve is strengthened as you get excited about God and yourself again and hurriedly share your present joy through Facebook, Twitter or some other social medium. The fog quickly settles in and you are pointed back to your past. The gloom reappears and the cycle continues.

How do we get out of the nameless place? Do we look inside to make peace with ourselves? How can we, yet we are our own carriers of guilt and condemnation. The unfortunately present movies keep replaying themselves inside our minds and our countenance falls each time a fresh wound is reopened. The already overburdened spirit cannot bear anymore and we cry out to God wondering if He hears. He seems silent, unconcerned, like an aloof grandfather whose aged ears cannot hear his grandchildren’s cries for help.

Why does God allow His children to go through hardship? Why doesn’t He keep us from things that will harm us, hurt others and embarrass our community? If He is truly unconfined to time, if He is truly God of the past, present and future, why doesn’t He steer us clear of controversy? What is your place in this story? Where do you fit in? What questions are you asking God, and what answers (if any) is He giving? Is it wrong to question Him? Who bears the greatest burden of our sin, the devil or the human being?

As much as this may be the cliché answer, God is very much in control. He is very much a present help in time of trouble. He keeps His word to never leave us nor forsake us. His ways are indeed past knowing. He is Lord of Lords, and that basically gives Him the right to do whatever He wants. Perhaps the most encouraging promise is that everything in our lives works for our good, those of us who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. Remember, if it isn’t good, then it’s not yet the end. Hold on, you may be at the nameless place, but you are headed to a place that does not require definition.

Overheard

Isn’t it funny how the things we overhear affect us? Isn’t it also interesting that rumours about us, when brought to us cut us so deeply? How should you react when you discover that someone you were just discussing with a friend also discussed you with that friend? Does the snitch you are now talking to become a good friend because he/she told you what they talked about you? Doesn’t the person you discussed have as much right to be mad at you if they discover that you discussed them?

What happens when you are doing something that you are normally good at and you overhear someone on the side-lines questioning your ability? Which part of you hurts the most when you hear negative things said about you? Is it your ego, your intellect, your heart, or your pride? Does it even matter which part hurts most, as long as something is hurting?

We will all go through some periods in our lives when people say bad things about us. Some of those things will be true; whereas some will be half-true and others will be blatant lies. How do we deal with it when it happens? Do you confront your ‘fan-club’ or do you speak in cursing tones to the Lord and quote Deuteronomy 28:28 as you ‘pray’ for them?

We all know that we also at some point discuss others and say bad things about them. Perhaps we should begin watching our conversation and follow this general principle: if you know something good about me tell others, but if you know something bad about me tell me. By pointing out my areas of fault in a loving and non-judgemental way, you will be helping me to grow and to avoid possible calamities ahead. By telling others about my good side, you will be creating a positive image of me in their minds so that they are tender towards me when I approach them.

Think about it.

Hostage

I went to my former university yesterday to visit a friend. I boarded a public service vehicle (matatu) and was appalled when we ended up seating four in a row instead of the law-prescribed three. This meant that either the cops on the highway were absent or corrupt. The latter proved to be true, for as soon as we approached their roadblock the matatus slowed down enough for the conductor to hand a crumpled shilling note into the hands of a female cop. The driver then said a casual ‘hello’ to the other cops on standby and we drove off. The matatu was in unroadworthy condition and I prayed that we would get to our journey safely. There was steam coming through the bottom layer and dust flying everywhere. My fellow passengers didn’t look disturbed so I thought I would keep my pompous comments to myself.

I drove back in another matatu from the university to Kisumu and went through the same thing with the overcrowding and the police handout. Another depressing part of the journey had to do with the terrible state of the road. Whereas the government is to be commended for their efforts in tarmacking as much of the country as they can with whatever finances the our new colonial masters (China) provide, the quality of the work is shoddy at best.

I was utterly disgusted because the deplorable state of the road from Oyugis to Kisii and the overcrowding and rampant bribery echo those of the Kisumu-Maseno route. 

I immediately thought of the amounts spent on electioneering and the processes our leaders subject us to as they attempt to clear their names of wrong doing. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that those who desire leadership of the country have their own selfish interests at heart and yet the development of this nation seems to rest on their shoulders. God help us. 

Rising Above

Two high profile football (soccer) players from the English premier league find themselves in great trouble. One of them (Luis Suarez – Liverpool Football Club, Uruguayan international) has been banned from playing in eight matches and had a fine imposed on him due to alleged racial slurs aimed at Manchester United and France defender Patrice Evra. The other (John Terry – Chelsea Football Club, English captain) is facing police investigations into alleged racial abuse aimed at Queens Park Rangers defender Anton Ferdinand.

They are under incredibly great pressure especially because the media has already arrested, prosecuted and found them guilty. In the public eye, they could only be loved at the moment by their own families and team members and their teams’ supporters. They have every right to be depressed and to fail to perform at the highest level of their sport.

The interesting thing is that they have not yet succumbed to the expectations of their detractors. Whether or not they are guilty, they have continued to give their very best to their respective clubs and one could be excused for thinking that there is nothing wrong with either of them. Irrespective of the goings on in their private and public life, you can still rise above the situation you find yourself in and offer the best of your services to those around you. Rise above, recover. 

Things will get better

We all go through rough patches in our lives. No one is immune to trouble and there is no life sheltered enough to avoid some kind of dis-ease or dis-comfort. No walls are high enough and no mansion impregnable enough to keep out stress and some level of worry from any human being.

There are also happy moments in life. We wish they could last forever, but the reality is that all good things must come to an end, on this side of eternity. The good thing is, our heavenly joy when we are finally one with the Father will last forever. There shall be no more crying or weeping in the New Jerusalem.

So as we handle today’s issues, we can take comfort in the knowledge that one day it will all be okay. No matter what this life throws at us, we are assured of the everlasting promises of our Father, and we know we will be with Him forever. We know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose. Not everything that happens to us will be good, but everything that happens in our lives is for good. As a friend of mine puts it, ‘if it isn’t good, then it’s not the end.’ Things will get better. 

Old Habits

Old habits die hard. I am used to jetting off somewhere on mission on weekends and this weekend finds me without a mission to jet to so you can understand my consternation. For some reason, no water has been flowing through the house taps this week and it is getting on my nerve. The politicians are busy forming parties and coalitions for the next elections, yet all I want is water flowing consistently through my taps. They want their people to live in our water catchment areas, yet want me to vote for them, and there is still no water flowing through my taps. The garbage lies in heaps, the drainage systems are filled with sewage, the roads are dusty and untarmacked and uncontrolled matatu drivers are killing pedestrians, and they want me to comment on the latest opinion polls.
So maybe I am not the only one with old habits. One thing is certain. I will not vote with the masses in the next elections. I will most likely be in the minority because none of the current crop of retirement-material will get my vote. I like what they have done with the road to my rural area but I am not happy with the free education money disappearing. I like what they have done with fiber optics but I don't like the situation with the Mau or the internally displaced people, victims of the post-election violence.
Old habits die hard, but they can die. They must go, they will go. So now to compose myself as I plan this weekend's getaway.

New Year, Old Resolutions

I haven’t been able to login to my blog account, simply because I couldn’t find the login place on my blog. Anyway, it’s a new year and my birthday happened recently. I turned a healthy number of years and now I am among the age group called MIDDLE AGE. My body is already doing its best to communicate my age to me, as I can no longer do some of the things I used to do with the same energy as before. It is harder to wake up in the morning and football training feels like torture.

On the other hand, I have become more aware of my responsibilities and of the expectations placed on me by my peers and those who look up to me. I cannot attend a wedding without the inevitable question, ‘when are we coming for yours?’ It seems like a long time since I was in high school and now even my post-high school education seems like it needs upgrading. I seem to be wiser, thanks to all the mistakes I made in the past, so now I seem wise because I know what to avoid. 

I haven’t made any new resolutions this year simply because I didn’t fulfill last year’s list of objectives so I need to get that list done this year before I move on to anything else. Top on last year’s agenda was music, so this year will see me focus more on music. Looking forward to what’s on the agenda. I would love to be up and about like every other musician who wants to make a name for him or herself but I find myself relaxing at home and reading books. I know I should feel guilty for doing mostly nothing in the day but I have the gentle reassurance that all this reading will have some use this year. I am in preparation for the music, but I am mostly in repair and servicing. The body is a vehicle and its parts need servicing once in a while. The tough thing about this vehicle is that it has a mind of its own. Help me Lord!