Out of the ashes

We all fail, we all fall, we all have things we regret and wish had never happened. If we could go back in time, I am certain that every one of us could change several things that happened in the past. I feel like Paul, when he spoke of being 'chief among sinners'. It has been my greatest desire to have a meaningful relationship with Jesus and I thought I had been having one all along, but it hasn't been what I desired it to be of late.

Of course I could be true to my human nature and look for someone or something to blame but this would not make the past go away, nor would it change the fact of the pain I have caused to several very dear people in my life. However, this would not help anyone, least of all myself. I realize the need to change several things about my life and I am ready to do that. I am happy that God does forgive and I am ready and willing to forgive myself as well.

The amazing thing about the Christian walk is the obvious fact that it is actually a walk. It is fraught with unending temptations, trials and opportunities to fail. It is also filled with many opportunities to grow and develop as a person and to grow in fellowship with Jesus. Perhaps the most awesome part of the walk is the knowledge that the Holy Spirit guides us into the will of God for our lives and we have nothing to fear as long as we stay attached to Him. So, I am rising out of the ashes of the smouldering ruins that is my past and into the sure and steadfast promise that is my portion in HIM. Are you stuck in your ashes, or are you ready to rise above your past and into the glorious future that God has prepared for you?

The Unending Walk

I am back in Diguna now, after five days away on ministry with teens from our church who are under the Compassion project. There was also a girls’ football (soccer) team with us and it was a great experience. The definite highlight of the trip was the 40 kilometer trek from Ensonorua to Magadi town, a feat accomplished by 65 people in eight hours. We had two major stops, one for debriefing at the General Service Unit (GSU) training camp and one for lunch at Ol Donyo Nyokie. 

The walk from the GSU training camp to Ol Donyo Nyokie was the hardest part because we passed through a rocky terrain that offered the greatest challenge to most of us. The sun was unbearably hot and the water in our water bottles got warm pretty fast. There was a boy who had a disability and had to be carried at various points of the trek, this was a great show of team work for us and the bigger boys were very helpful to him.

We spent two days at Ensonorua, a place with little water and lots of dust. We slept on the floor for the two days we were there since we hadn’t carried mattresses. Some of us quickly adapted to it and some of us had more trouble with it, but nobody wanted to wake up early for jogging so it was eventually normal. We painted the doors of the school we were staying at, cleaned the classrooms and neatened the compound. We did the same thing at our eventual destination (Magadi Primary School), although we had mattresses and fans in Magadi.

The food was always more than enough for me, but the voracious appetites of some of our members could hardly be catered to adequately. We played a football match in the heat of Magadi and won by at least four goals to one. I say ‘at least’ because no one really bothered to count, we were having too much fun on the sidelines. Our girls’ team played against a boys’ team from the area and lost 0-3 but gave a good showing nonetheless.

We returned back to Ongata Rongai yesterday night and some of the kids had to sleep in church (Deliverance Church Ongata Rongai) because it was too late and too dangerous to go home at that time. Some of the leaders purchased bread and milk for their supper and then spent the night with them in the church building. Today, everyone goes home to a well-deserved rest as the kids prepare for school and the adults go back to work. What a week!

Recovery

Sometimes I am tempted to find meaning in what I do, and I find that this is the clearest path to depression. I know I could do better in my pursuits of excellence and my goals have been sidelined for the time being. I have allowed time stress and pressure to overwhelm me and I now notice that the Bible and prayer have increasingly become rare in my mornings.

I know the solution; it is in meditating upon His Word. I should not kid myself by thinking that being busy fulfills my purpose in life. I must learn to appreciate the slow moments, to just take in the spaces as they come. I know that fatigue and burn out affect mostly those people who don’t stick to their plans and who have a hard time saying no.

So now, back to the youth camp and back to the events of the day. It promises to be a busy day as usual and the challenges it presents must be faced with God. 

At Camp

The Diguna Open Camp is well under way and the atmosphere here is exciting. The kids love being here and we are getting to know each other better as the days go by. Today marks the centre point of the camp week and this is the day when we get really personal and ask those prodding questions. This is the day when the campers have the opportunity to share their deepest joys and struggles and this is the time when the counsellors at camp begin to carry the real burden of the kids at camp.

The unfortunate part is that the kids will leave the cushion of camp and head back to whatever their normal lives present to them. Some are returning to habitual abuse, neglect and lack of appreciation whereas some are returning to pampered lives somewhere in Nairobi's suburbs. We remain in Diguna with concern, prayer requests and no particular surety that we will see these kids ever again. In such a situation, one can only hope that he/she has done their best as far as our handling of these kids and their situations goes.

The speaker at camp is awesome, with a well prepared message and properly choreographed delivery. You can easily tell that he has done this for a while now and that he truly prays before he presents his message. He has an incredibly astute manner of gospel presentation that easily resonates with the kids. We fully trust that God will use him and his words to touch the hearts of everyone present and to further His purposes in their lives. Let's see how the rest of camp goes.

Full House

We had an awesome concert yesterday and the church was packed to the rafters! The turnout was mostly composed of teens and former teens but there were a few older people around as well. The people gracing the stage were carefully selected although one important artist was overlooked due to what we can only describe as the confusion of the transitions from one singer to another.
On offer was a mixture of songs and the spoken word, what I prefer to call floetry. There was also a dance mix done by a very gifted group of four young ladies called the Holy Spaxx. Those in attendance were wowed by an acapella rendition of a song challenging us on what our legacies will document.
Today, the Diguna Open Camp April 2011 is in full swing and we are hosting little over 100 campers. Morris Opati of the International Christian Ministries is the main session speaker and he has an uncanny knack for communicating with all audiences. He is already doing an immensely effective job of relating the Message to the young ones attending the camp.
So now, away from the blog and back to the camp. Lovely week my friends, and may God bless you.

Fair, Unfair?

I read the other day about the forthcoming marathon in Utrecht in the Netherlands. There was uproar after the organizers of the event decided to pay Dutch winners a handsome 10,000 Euros whereas the winning Kenyans would get only 100 Euros. At first, I was annoyed by the whole thing because it smacked of unfairness and lack of equal opportunity to benefit. Being a Kenyan myself, I thought the organizers could have done better.

Then I considered the fact that THEY were in their own country, with their own rules and it was THEIR money they were giving with the full support of their athletics governing body. Their reasons were justified, in that they desired to give more support to upcoming Dutch athletes.

I think it is the same thing about heaven. We don’t own it or have a say as far as who goes in. We know the requirements and we can either accept them or turn them down. We cannot go to heaven on our own terms, telling God what to do and how to do it. He has provided one way, Jesus Christ (John 14:6), and what we do with the whole idea of Jesus decides our eternal destiny.

What have you done with Jesus? 

Walking with God

The room was filled with wonderful worship music last night and it did not take much effort to start worshipping God. Dan Wambete (for those who know him) and the Camp band did an awesome job leading us into a time of prayer and praise. There were a few presentations after that and then I had the opportunity to share a little bit of the recent upheavals of my heart and two songs from the Shelter album. I believe God spoke to some people through that ministry and that the songs had the desired impact on those listening.

I immediately left with the hulking Tranel Aaron (for those who know him) and headed to the Diguna Youth Turning Point where we were showing the UEFA Champions League on big screen for the viewing pleasure of our neighbors from Ole Kasasi area. I had the honor of sharing a short challenge at half time and the thrust of the message was basically on what we would be remembered for. The game went on well, and my team, Manchester United, won…..yeah!!

Today I am at camp and I am still thinking about fellowship with God and trying to put my thoughts down on the computer. I have the idea of writing a devotional for young people and the title of it is: WALKING WITH GOD. The challenge I have is that I keep coming up with different methods of how the devotional should be and it is, at the moment, hard to come up with one concrete method.

So, now back to camp and back to walking with God. 

Refreshments

DO IT FOR CHRIST. This was the theme at the recently concluded Diguna Annual Sports Event held at the Diguna Ngechek station. We had a great time there playing football and volleyball and participating in the 12 kilometre cross-country run. I must admit that no one from our delegation participated in the cross-country run but this was because there would not have been much point anyway. Those guys live, talk and breathe athletics and the 12 kilometres seemed like 12 metres to them. We won the football tournament, a feat we last achieved in 2007 on the same grounds. We placed fourth in the volleyball tournament but the best player in volleyball came from our team in the person of one Gottfried.

Upon return to Mbagathi, we came straight into an ongoing youth camp that begun on Friday last week and is scheduled to run until this Friday night, followed by departure on Saturday to their respective mission destinations. Yet another camp begins on Sunday evening and we expect more campers for that particular camp.

The Shelter Album concert is scheduled as earlier announced for this coming Sunday at 3pm at my local church. I must admit that I am getting more and more butterflies in my stomach as the day approaches but I am sure God will show up and show off.

In the meantime, I am on a journey back to the first love, having gradually drifted farther and farther away from God. I sense that the closeness I once enjoyed with Him is not so present any more. I fear I may have reached the point of being too busy for the one whom I should busy myself with the most. Tonight I sing at the youth camp and the songs I have selected have much to do with a lukewarm relationship with God. I trust that as I briefly share my testimony and the two songs I have selected, those present will have an opportunity to reflect on their lives and make a conscious and willing decision to return to their first love. What about you, anything you need to sort out with God?

Exhausted

It is now 15:13pm and I have just arrived home from church, since I left this morning at 6:30am. After a prayer session, three services and a surprise meeting with the senior pastor, I don't want to hear even one 'hallelujah'. I am not saying that it was boring or unpleasant, it was really great and it was a chance to pray more than we usually do in a normal service.

I have had a draining schedule since Friday. I went to Diguna and played football against a team of deaf students from a school near the Nazarene University, then went later to church for concert practice. I slept late, and woke up early Saturday to honour a breakfast invitation in Diguna. I left at 13:30pm and went straight to church. I got a lift from a Diguna missionary couple who had two kids on the back seats of their car. The younger child saw me enter the car and started crying, and didn't stop crying until I alighted from the car. I got to church on time, at 2pm as required but most people came for practise much later.
After practise, I joined a group of young people from our teens church who were on the way to visit a family that had lost their 12 year old girl. She had apparently committed suicide and we had the opportunity to visit with them and comfort them. I had been invited by one of my friends to dinner at his family apartment and we went there after comforting the grieving family.

I got home a few minutes after 21:00 and watched the news then watched a movie after I had prepared my clothes for today. I was up at 5:30am this morning to prepare for church and so the story goes on. I am supposed to go later to Diguna and to set up the satellite tv connection so that the regular visitors can watch the English premier league, but my body tells me that this is not going to happen.

I hope I can rest now because I am needed at band practise tomorrow at 11am in Diguna in preparation for the youth camps that start next week Friday. I will miss the first three days of camp because I am travelling to the Diguna station in Ngechek to participate in the Diguna Annual Sports Event. A lot to do, and God is involved in every stage and step. How wonderful to be busy, in His service.